Day 86 – I’m not “Southern!”

I was born on a military base in Fort Knox, Kentucky.   For those of you who have no clue, Kentucky is not located in the south.   It’s not located in the north either.  I’m not a Southerner and I’m not a Yankee….
I don’t talk too funny either, that’s mainly because I’ve lived all over the States and picked up other dialects.  It’s kinda crazy really, how my pronunciations of words change depending on who I’m around.  It’s like I’m a damn vocabulary chameleon.

To be honest, I never thought much about how I said certain words or phrases until I moved away for a few years.  When I’d come home for holidays I’d listen to the people in my family conversing and think to myself, “Damn hillbillies!”
And to clarify, I don’t come from a line of in-bred, uneducated, barefoot, kin folk who between all of them have a full set of teeth.  (Those road-kill eaters live in eastern KY)  I come from good stock, but you wouldn’t know it by the way they speak.    Here are a few words you might hear while having a conversation with someone in my family:

“Uhl” –  what goes in a car to keep the gears running smooth
“Bow” – you eat cereal out of it
“Yall” – more than one person
“Pie” – we say this in a way that I can’t even figure out how to spell phonetically incorrect. Most long ‘I’ sounds are said the said messed up way..  hiiii, byyyye, piiiiie…
“Fillings” – no, this isn’t want goes in a pie or your teeth, these are the emotions that you experience. Like, ‘she hurt my fillings.’
“Deh-poe”  most people say DEEpoe as in Home Depot, not Kentuckians. We say it with a short e.
“Daaawg” – dog
“Coke” – all flavors of pop, or soda.  I’m pretty sure this is why fast food joints came up with the ‘get it your damn self’ option.  Because Kentuckians will order a Coke but expect Dr. Pepper or Orange drink
“Mess” – not an accident but an amount of something. Like, ‘a mess of beans.’
And the mother of all things said, “Bless her/his heart” –  this is NOT a good thing.  To bless someone’s heart is basically a way to do just the opposite.  For example, “Aww look at that little baby..bless her little heart.”  This means the kid was ugly as hell.
Oh and.. all words are at least two syllables. All wor-ds.

Regardless of how poorly I sometimes a-nun-ci-ate, I’m not a damn redneck Southerner or a stick-up-the-ass Yankee.   Yankee folk are pissed off people -they are!!  Their harsh attitude and lack of hospitality proves as much…and what kind of people don’t eat biscuits with gravy?

I’m a good mix of both worlds really. I say ‘yall’ and ‘yous guys’ interchangeably.   So technically I guess I’m a stick-up-the-ass pissed off hospitable red neck yankee who drinks Coke.

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