Well, am I?

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Am I the only one who tries to open the front door with the car key clicker? And am I the only one who gets pissed when it doesn’t work??

Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird that humans are the only ones to naturally drink milk from another mammel?

Am I the only one who doesn’t understand why Johnny Depp has British accent?

Am I the only one who considers smiling and saying hello as the polite thing to do when a strangers eyes meet mine?

Am I the only one who “break checks,” the car riding their bumper?

Am I the only one who thinks the screaming kid at the grocery needs a butt whoopin’?

Am I the only one who thinks child molesters and rapist should wear a tattoo on their forehead to clearly & publicly mark them since our Constitution won’t allow to automatically euthanize them??

Am I the only one who can’t watch the commercial with the abused animals with the song, “in the arms of the angels” playing in the background?

Speaking of animals, am I the only one who hates reading the sad stories on the cages of animals that need to be adopted at PetSmart?  And am I the only one who wants to adopt them all?

Am I the only one who hates Disney World?

Am I the only one who thinks the writer of ‘Alice and Wonderland’ was on angel dust?

Am I the only one who wonders why we park on driveways and drive on parkways… and why there’s interstates in Hawaii?

Am I the only one who searched for fairies and Smurfs in the yard when they were little?

Am I the only one who would rather lick a dog turd than eat a beet?

Am I the only one who thinks the most educated Southerner still sounds as though they didn’t even graduate the 5th grade when they speak?

Am I the only one who thinks sometimes those “homeless” people with the cardboard signs could be Jesus in disguise- seeing if we will do the right thing?

Am I the only one who doesn’t care if the cat gets on the counter?

Am I the only one who thinks swimming in a pool is disgusting but will happily play in a lake or an ocean?

Am I the only one who wonders if a zebra is white with black stripes or black with white stripes?

Am I the only one that thinks only drunks, pissed off people and kids tell the truth?

Am I the only one who likes the smell of puppy breath?

Am I the only one who thinks there is a such thing as a stupid question?

-Willow

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