Day 26 – Grasshoppers are scary

There’s only one thing I truly don’t like and that’s flying insects.  One time I had this huge Oscar fish named Willie. He was orange and cream colored with a little bit of gold.  I grew Willie from a tiny baby. He started out eating flakes then little pellets. He was the cutest little fish. He had a 50 gallon tank full of friends that he liked to play ‘chase’ with.  Willie was trained to beg for food when he saw us. We could hold his little pellets at the top of the water and he’d swim up and take them from your hand. As he grew he began eating bigger pellets and dried insects.  As a treat Willie ate ground beef or chicken, sometimes dogfood.  Willie grew into a beast. He was every bit the size of a dinner plate, no joke!!

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And he was not a team player because while playing chase, he’d eat his friends.  Bad ass fish!!! Well this one time I forgot to goto PetSmart on the way home from work to get Willie’s bugs so I had to go out and catch some.  Damnit. 
You should have seen me in my long sleeved rubber gloves and mucking boots trying to catch a few grasshoppers. I’d attempt to sneak up on one and it would fly at me, I’d duck, swat, scream and run away, flailing my arms all at the same time.  I about had a nervous breakdown for real.  Grasshoppers are mean!!! I remember vividly finally getting one. It came out of nowhere and landed on a stepping stone near my boot.  I hurried and put my hand over it (yes with a gloved hand- no way in hell I’m going to touch it with my bare hands you sicko- they bite!!) and then I froze. It was like my brain disconnected from logic- I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to grab it and squish it in my glove and I also didn’t want to move my hand and take the chance of letting the grasshopper loose. If he would have flown at me in anger, I might have had a heart attack right there. Luckily for me my 2nd grader was there to come to my aid. Kayla picked that grasshopper up and carried him right in to Willie like a boss. (After I told her not to be scared; it wouldn’t bite)  hahahaha.
I’m such a bad mom.

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I bet you anything Kayla wouldn’t touch a grasshopper now, not even to save her own life.

-Willow

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