Day 68 – Sunshine and Coffee

Today’s sunshine has really been good for me.   I have been slowly dying from cabin fever.  I mean, I’ve been out and about all winter but it’s hard to find the joy in leaving the house after weeks and weeks of cold, sloppy days.    I had a second round of testing this morning for some issues I’m having with my esophagus. For the life of me I cannot swallow a piece of meat or bread without it feeling like it’s getting stuck.    Last week I had an endoscopy that showed a sliding hiatal hernia (shrugs) and the doc put me on a prescription of Prilocsec for acid reflux that I don’t feel.   Today was a barium swallow test.  If you’ve never had barium let me just say, it’s not that bad.  I mean, I wouldn’t want to pour a tall glass of it to have with my Oreo’s or anything but for a quick xray type test, it’s doable.   I’ve never had a barium swallow test before today so I didn’t really know what to expect. I did YouTube it last night and it looked easy enough – and today I found out that it was as simple as it looked on video.  Basically you sit against an xray board and the tech points the machine at the side of your body from your skull to your bellybutton.  On the screen in front of me I saw myself..  and lemme tell ya, I’m pretty cute without flesh.💀    Then the speech pathologist (SP) gave me a cup of think, berry flavored paste to swallow down in three continuous gulps.  On the screen the barium looked like three giant turds being poured down the back of my teeth and down my skeleton. (Couldn’t see anything besides my basic skeleton outline) It was pretty cool!!   Next came a bite of barium pudding that the SP fed me. That was odd. It too went down fine.  After that was a piece of wheat bread smeared with barium that the SP again, fed to me.  Two things rubbed me the wrong way at this point:
1) What if I was allergic to wheat?  No one asked me about allergies, and
2) Why did she have to feed me? Im not 6 months old and we aren’t dating. On top of that, I don’t like other people to touch my was a little too much “hands on” for my liking.
Anyway, following the bread was a vanilla wafer and barium. After have not eaten since dinner the night before (now 17.5 hours later) I was almost sick to my stomach.  Barium feels like a brick inside and it just sits there.  When the test was complete the SP told me that nothing was wrong with me except for acid reflux.  I looked at her and blinked a few times before insisting that I do not have acid reflux. I told her I don’t feel acid & I don’t verp acid.  She told me it was silent (well no shit sherlock) and that most people my age don’t feel it… then she asked me if I ate a lot of fatty foods. (Do I look like I eat a lot of fatty foods?) I Said no.
Do I drink a lot of alcohol? (Define a lot) I said no again.
Do I use tobacco products? No.
Do I drink caffeine? (What is wrong with this woman? Everytime I say NO she finds another thing to ask me like she’s baiting me.. I know as soon as I say YES to something she will tell me to stop doing it.)  I told her I did drink coffee off and on throughout the day and I was right- as soon as I said YES she told me to stop using it.  (Stop using it? Girl it ain’t meth, dayum!! :twisted:) 
I couldn’t wait to get out of that hospital and across the street for some real food.  I ended up with a chicken gyro. Tip o’ the day: Gyros are not drive-friendly food.   I had gyro chicken and its onion-cucumber sauce all over my leggings, my hands and seat. When I got home I smelled like a huge armpit and so did my car! Hahahaha. Gross!!!
When I got home I opened up all the windows and ripped through the house dusting and scrubbing every surface..I figured since I already smelled like an onion I might as well get the sweat out of the way too.  OCD kicked in and before I knew it, it was 3 hours later and the house was spotless.  I even managed to text with an old friend, reply to emails, post pix, add a few status updates to Facebook and replant a plant.(Apparently barium is like crack)
Just kidding. Like in said before, the sunshine has been good for me today. Much needed and now I think I’ll make some coffee and watch Survivor.
Night night.



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