Motherhood 

I prayed- I have prayed for you from the first second I knew you existed, snuggled in my belly.

I prayed for your health and happiness.

I prayed that you’d always make the right decisions.

I prayed I’d never fail you and that my arms would always be strong enough to catch you when you fell.

I prayed for your forgiveness for all those times I let you down.

I prayed that you always know that I love you, unconditionally.
I cried-

I cried when I first heard your heartbeat.

I cried when I saw your little body floating on the screen, a black and white mass with two tiny arms and legs.

I cried the day you were born, a perfect little baby the only thing that ever belonged to me, mine, forever.

I cried the first time your were sick because the last thing I ever wanted you to feel was discomfort.

I cried every time I had to tell you, “No,” because I didn’t have enough money.

I cried the first day of kindergarten.

I cried when you got your drivers license and

I worried – paced the floor at night until I knew you were safe.

I cried when you graduated from high school and again when you began college.

I cried at your wedding, and again when your child was born.

I cried every time I disappointed you and couldn’t live up to your expectations.

I cried and continue to cry for you, tears that I will never allow you to see.

Day 44- Valentine’s Eve

I heard on the radio that men do well to buy something for their significant other but women tend to buy Valentine’s day gifts for everyone; their husband/bf, kids, mom, best friends, pets.
It’s true.
I did buy my husband a gift…and filled all his shirt pockets with small love notes before hanging them up.  I bought my girls each a gift and today I took my mom a Valentine’s day gift.  I love to buy for other people.  Nothing I purchased was expensive- just small trinkets to let them know I was thinking about them. 
It’s nice.

Tonight my mom called to to thank me for the candle and chocolates.  She said that, “it touched her heart.”   Her comment made me smile.   I suppose my mom and I have always been each others  Valentine because we were each others  first love.

            Happy Valentine’s Eve y’all.

-Willow