I prayed- I have prayed for you from the first second I knew you existed, snuggled in my belly.
I prayed for your health and happiness.
I prayed that you’d always make the right decisions.
I prayed I’d never fail you and that my arms would always be strong enough to catch you when you fell.
I prayed for your forgiveness for all those times I let you down.
I prayed that you always know that I love you, unconditionally.
I cried when I first heard your heartbeat.
I cried when I saw your little body floating on the screen, a black and white mass with two tiny arms and legs.
I cried the day you were born, a perfect little baby the only thing that ever belonged to me, mine, forever.
I cried the first time your were sick because the last thing I ever wanted you to feel was discomfort.
I cried every time I had to tell you, “No,” because I didn’t have enough money.
I cried the first day of kindergarten.
I cried when you got your drivers license and
I worried – paced the floor at night until I knew you were safe.
I cried when you graduated from high school and again when you began college.
I cried at your wedding, and again when your child was born.
I cried every time I disappointed you and couldn’t live up to your expectations.
I cried and continue to cry for you, tears that I will never allow you to see.