WWF, Body Cast, and the Church People (Austin Part 3)

Hey y’all, I’ve got a few minutes to spare and thought I’d tickle your funny bone with another story about living in Austin.   As you have read from the title of this post, tonight’s story will be about wrestling, injury and…. getting help.  Buckle up..

Blu and I were huge WWF fans. For those of you unaware of what the WWF is, let me fill you in.  WWF stands for the World Wrestling Federation.  The WWF was the ‘in’ thing back in the 80’s. I was going into the 5th grade, and my cousin Blu was one year younger and kids our age loved the WWF: Hulk Hogan, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Rick Flair, Macho Man Randy Savage, Hacksaw, and Andre’ the Giant.  Man, they were awesome.   What a great time we had when they were on tv.  Blu and I would act out our favorite characters, carefully mimicking the tiniest details of their personalities.   This one night when the WWF was on and we were playing, something bad happened. Image

I believe Blu was pretending to be Rowdy Roddy Piper and I was Hacksaw, or maybe it was the other way ’round.. hell, maybe we were two totally different characters, it’s hard to say after 30 years have passed. (side note, off topic. DAYUM! Did I just saw 30 years? I’ll be 40 in August, I can’t believe I just made a reference to a point in my life that happened 30 years ago. I feel so old.)  Anyway, Blu and I were playing around, pretending to be whichever WWF character we had chosen, stomping, clothes-lining, body slamming, suplexing, DDT’ing and razzing the invisible crowd with our best impressions of wrestler haggling.   We were having a good ole time until… I whipped out the Full Nelson.   I don’t know how I did it but I got Blu in this wrestling move then I wrapped my leg around the outside of his and pulled his leg backward, trying to trip him.  I needed him down on the ground so I could pin him, so I could win… but when I did.. SNAP!  Blu let out a scream and when I jumped up, his leg… OH! MY! GAWD!! … his leg was twisted around backwards or something. His leg looked like it was over his shoulder! (insert vomit noise here)  My uncle Bubby had to put Blu’s leg back into its normal position and in doing so, Blu screamed, I cried and that was only the beginning.  The next day I found out that I had broken my cousins femur bone. Although I was sad due to my best friend being in the hospital…with a screw through his leg…hanging in traction, secretly I was happy that my WWF guy beat his. (insert evil little giggles)

I don’t know how long Blu was in the hospital, hanging up in traction but it seemed like months.  All I know is, when he came back he had on one helluvuh cast.  It started just under his armpits, down his torso, all the way down his broken leg to his ankle and I think halfway down the other leg. He had a full-on body cast!!?!   That being said, Blu couldn’t sit in a normal chair like the rest of us, he needed a special wheelchair, one that he could get around the house in but one that would also allow for his…unbend-able position. (insert more evil giggles here)  Well, when bad accidents happen and when you’re poor, you turn to others for help.  We had some church people help us get what we needed.  I’m pretty sure the church people helped us with food, bills, and whatever else our family needed in this time of crisis.  :/

I’ll never forget this one day the church people came to pay us a visit… unexpectedly.  By this time in Blu’s healing process he had learned to get around in his body cast like it wasn’t even there.  He didn’t need his wheelchair or any other special things but.. I guess we didn’t want the church people to know this because when whoever looked out the door and saw them standing there, Blu was motioned to get his butt back in his wheelchair- fast!  He ran in a hobbling fashion and threw himself into that chair.  I’m laughing just thinking back on it. Scandalous!!

With all the bad stuff that Blu had to go through, his body cast did come in quite well for Halloween; authentic Imagemummy costume right there.  (that’s me, the witch)           ——————————————————————————————>

All of us kids are married with kids of our own now. I haven’t seen any of them in at least 20 years because we live in different states. But no matter the distance, and although I’ll be 40 and Blu 39 this year.. and although he outgrew me by at least a foot, a long time ago, he knows not to mess with me because if broke his leg once, I’m sure I could do it again.  LOL :)~




Dying Frogs, Biting Ants and a Crap-ton of Flying bugs! (Austin Part 2)

Ok, so, we’re on our way to Austin, my bladder is about to burst, I’m sitting on the “hump” and I’ve grown a nice water blister on the tippy-top of my pointer finger- that’s where I left off on the last blog. Let’s move forward a few hundred miles.

Did I mention that I hated Texas?  I didn’t know I hated Texas until I moved there.  Well, actually I didn’t know I hated Texas until I moved back to Kentucky and thought about Texas… then I hated it.  Wanna know why?  Going to and living in Texas was like being smack-dab in the middle of some sort of Biblical plague, that’s why.    For starters, we can talk about the frogs in Shreveport, LA.

Someone in my family thought it would be a good idea to pit-stop for the night in Shreveport.  It seemed like I fine idea.  I can remember the hotel, how the room was laid out and the little details all the way down to the orange, yellow and brown  flowered bed spread and shaggy green carpet.  The counter-top in the bathing area wfrogsas white with little tiny silver specks in it, and the drapes above the loud a/c unit, they were gold on one side with a sort of rubbery substance on the back.    The room didn’t matter much because all we kids wanted to do was go swimming.   I remember that pool for sure.  It was a kidney shaped pool and there were so many green leafy plants around it.  Pretty brown rocks and tropical flowers.  I think I remember it because it was probably the first hotel stay I ever experienced.  Truthfully speaking, the room and the pool was probably a dump but because this particular place got my hotel virginity, it was special and never to be forgotten.   🙂    Blu and I ran and jumped in the pool… ran and jumped again.. and again… and again.  We jumped so much that the skin on my big toes peeled off!!  Didn’t make me no matter, it was a beautiful pool, at the best hotel on the planet and I loved it.  I’m not the only one who loved that pool. Frogs loved that pool too; well, they loved bugs around it anyway.  Poor little things were just minding their business, chirping and eating bugs, until we found them.  I didn’t know frogs couldn’t go in the pool.  I thought they swam and would like to swim with us.  Blu, Billy, Josh and I, we loaded that pool up with frogs.    Kids and frogs go way back; back further in time before any of us kids knew anything about the love affair.  That being said, you’d think our parents would have developed some sort of common sense when it came to such things as throwing a kabillion frogs into a chlorinated swimming pool.  smh.  I sure would have hated to be the one to clean that pool the next morning. yuk!

Moving right along to Austin, Texas.  I have so many funny memories that I’ll have to put you on an installment plan.  Hope you don’t mind, as I have a husband, a lot of kids, a grand baby and college classes to tend to. That’s right, college classes.  You thought I was some dumb hillbilly from Kentucky, didn’t ya?  I don’t blame ya, when I hear people talk like I do, I think they’re dumb hillbillies too.  haha!    OK, lets get back to it, shall we?

While the adults in my family looked for a place for all of us to live, my little cousins and I played around.  One day, my aunt and uncle were looking at a house or something and us kids were outside running and playing and staying out of the way.  Well, we spotted a huge ant hill, and I mean huge!!  Ant hills in Kentucky are no bigger than a few tablespoonsanthill of brown sand with harmless black piss-ants living inside.  When you walk by them, you kicked them down and went about your business because nothing remotely impressive happened.  So, why on earth would we think that the ant hills in Texas were going to be any different?   To our surprise the anthills were not only big, some were bigger than us…some grew up trees even!!!   And how were we supposed to know that by kicking them down, or lets say… by pushing a smaller cousin into a hill.. would be a bad thing?  O.M.G.   Inside the really big anthills in Texas live really big ants that bite and leave really big welts.  ha ha ha.  I’ll never forget Billy getting pushed into a hill and within 2.2 seconds, he was covered with pissed off ants.  I don’t know if it was the size of the welts all over Billy’s body or the whoopin’ we got after, but we didn’t go near anthills in Texas anymore.     And let me tell you one more thing about those Texas ants….  they build and rebuild fast!!  I remember there being a very little anthill at the base of our tree one night.  A tree that we liked to play on and climb in.  We went to bed and the next day that little anthill was the size of the tree!! No joke. Those ants weren’t playing around.  (and I think they hated us)

If anyone knows me, they know I hate flying bugs.   Bugs can creep. Bugs can crawl. Bugs can even hop, but bugs cannot fly.  There is nothing worse than a flying bug… well, except for clowns.  Clowns aren’t natural.  I had already learned that Texas was full of huge attack ants but no one told me about the plague of flying, brown grasshoppers.  O.M.G.  You have no freaking idea how disgusting those things were.   I remember walking into stores and those things would be nested up in the corners outside of the buildings.  Sometimes they would be so thick that the door frames seemed to move!  I was o.k. with them as long as they stayed put.. but let one fall off or fly and I was out!!   Not even Usain Bolt can outrun me when it comes to flying insects. Nope.

Whoever said that everything was bigger in Texas, wasn’t exaggerating.  Everything is bigger.  They have bigger cars, bigger hair, bigger anthills and much bigger plagues of grasshoppers. .  all of the reasons that I hate that big ole state.

Tomorrow we will talk about the  WWF, body cast and the church people.